Just call me “Emergency Life Skills Coach”!


A female caller, wanting to file a report of harassment:

Me – “What exactly are they doing to harass you?”

Caller – “They are texting me, bragging about their new fiancé, and I’m tired of hearing about it.”

Emergency Life Coach Powers – Activate!

Me – “Did you tell them to stop?  And have you considered contacting your phone company to have their number blocked on your phone?”

Caller – “Yes, I told them to stop.  And I’ll have my phone company block their phone number in the morning.  It’s too late to call them tonight.”

Me – (pause)  “So … it sounds like you have the situation under control.”  (Crickets in the background)

Caller – “But I want the police to DO something.”

Me – “What do you want the police to do?”  (Sometimes you actually have to ask this of the caller)  “Is this person threatening you?”

Caller – “No, but they are calling me names.”

Me – “That doesn’t rise to the level of harassment; they can be obnoxious and rude (it’s called freedom of speech) as long as they don’t threaten you.”

Caller – “But they are contacting me on Facebook!”  (That’s what the “unfriend” button is for!)

I again try to explain that what she is describing is not harassment.  She didn’t like my answer.  She hangs up on me, after calling me a few unpleasant names, and lecturing me on how the “justice system” needs to be “working for her.”

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