This is a question that I should have asked myself and my husband much sooner than I did. Facing death, and the death of a spouse, is a difficult thing to think about – much less try to discuss. It’s easier to put off that discussion for “another day.”
My husband, Robby, passed away about 3 1/2 years ago from a brain tumor. We were forced to face this question during the year that he fought his cancer. Just this morning I was reminded of that time when I saw a post from another young widow, talking about 6 Things that Married Couples Need To Do RIGHT NOW To Prepare for the Unlikely Death of a Spouse. You can click on the link to read her entire post. It’s a good one. The only think I would tack onto it would be to talk about what your spouse would like in terms of burial, cremation, memorial service/funeral, etc. This gives you a chance to know what their final wishes are, and plan a service that will reflect THEM. Robby and I talked (jokingly) about what he would like in a memorial service. This was long before we were faced with his cancer, so it wasn’t a morbid thing at all. He always joked that he wanted a black gospel choir to perform – he loved that kind of rich, Southern heritage in his music. Since black gospel choirs are in short supply where we live, my daughters and I found an alternative; my oldest found a recording of Peace in the Valley, performed by Sister Rosetta Tharpe.
You can also check out my own take on discussing things with your spouse here, at Having An End Of Life Discussion. This is from my other blog, Psalms 68:5 – Restoral. I’m no longer posting to this site, but there are still some good articles there nonetheless. 🙂